Wednesday, September 25, 2013

sacrifices

This post is just for my own sake and for something to look back on.. but let me just start by saying nursing school IS TOUGH!! oh my heck.. I spend 30+ hours a week on homework and that's not including lectures or lab times.  I am trying to find a balance between being a mother, wife and student but I am soon finding that I cant be perfect at everything and that stresses me out!  So what do I cut back on? THAT is the question.. Kinsey told me tonight while I was giving the girls a bath, "mom, you always do homework and I hate it! can we snuggle and watch a mobie affer this?" That broke my heart because it is so true.  It sure is a good thing my girls have each other to keep busy and entertained.  I broke out into tears looking at my clinical schedule for October because I wont be able to get Kinsey ready for her big carnival on Halloween at her preschool because I will be doing clinicals.. and I wont be able to get her ready and do her hair like a "princess" in the mornings before school. :( I want to be a good mommy so bad and feel like my dreams are going to tear me away a little bit.  I know I am setting a good example for my kids and finally reaching my goal, but dam its rough and tough stuff.  I have had TWO break downs already because I couldn't get everything done in one day and feel so overwhelmed. So pretty much after this week I will be away from the home 35 hours and that doesn't include homework.  My girls and I have some serious adjusting to do and I hope it will be worth it.  They are young enough to where they wont remember too much of this crazy life right now.. hopefully!! I always refer to a quote I got from a parenting book that says its the QUALITY of time not the QUANTITY of time that matter to children so I am working on remembering that daily.  On top of balancing my time during the day I am EXHAUSTED!  I go to the gym at 530am or else I wont be able to go any other time, and then I go to bed at 11pm because I am up doing homework after my girls go to bed at 8.  I need to figure out a solution to this as well LOL I am lucky Brandon can set his own schedule at work but we are having to use other day care providers as well and I hope we have found a good fit for our girlies.  They mean the world to me and it breaks my heart that I cant be the one to provide for them 24/7 like I have for the past 2.5 years. DECEMBER 2014 cannot come soon enough!!!

Rant over... haha  her are some pics of my cute girls :)

Harper wanted to lay in her babies bed and read books ;)



Fresh out of the bath watching a "MOBIE!"






I love these 2 more than words can describe!!!

1 comment:

  1. YOU GO GIRL! I only wish I had that ambition you have! All that busy schedule and you still wake up early and go to they gym?! I am impressed! You are a good mommy and really are setting such a great example to your girls! Keep it up!

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