BEWARE! This is all "venting"!

First off I would like to wish my Mom a Happy Birthday (again).  She is the most amazing person in the whole wide world and has been there for me 110% of the time!  She often had to play the role of mom and dad since we moved away from my dad when I was very little, and has always put us kids before herself.  My mom has sacrificed so much for me and my brothers and sometimes it makes me feel guilty because we did get anything we wanted even if that meant she couldnt get something she needed!  She is my #1 best friend EVER and is the only person I can call and vent to anyone about!  She listens and often gives me advice but never tells me I am wrong, even when I am, and supports my decisions with out a question.  I am so glad to see her where she is at in her life right now, she has THE BEST husband in the world, her fancy Lexus, a gorgeous home in North Ogden with a view to die for, a fantastic job that allows her to have freedom, she will be graduating from University of Phoenix soon, and is living a GREAT life full of vacations, camping trips, and FUN!! My mom deserves the best possible and nothing less :) She truly is an amazing woman, wife, mom, and grandma!

Now for some serious venting (I dont know if its the hormones or what but I have so much I need to get out lol)  I do NOT want to offend anyone so if you start to feel that way, please stop reading!
I dont even know where to begin so I will just start typing and if it doesnt make since, oh well, I am getting it off my chest and thats all I need to do!  My first subject is this whole religion thing and the way people in this wonderful state of Utah think.. Most people know Brandon and I were married in the temple.  Well we are coming up on our 3 year anniversary and we no longer go to church and no longer take part in any of that stuff anymore.  It has taken me almost this whole 3 years to wonder why Brandon and I struggled so bad to go to church and be the people we were when we got married.  But I have finally decided PART of the reason.  I have never been the type of person to judge someone because I have been through a lot and we are all humans and suffer our own things.. We are all born good people and some people just choose to make other decisions that may not seem right to everyone else.  I was raised with strong morals and taught to treat everyone equal! It just seemed like the more and more involved I would get into the church the more I felt like I should be "judging" a person because they got a divorce, or had a baby without being married, or did something the church didnt think was right.  There was so much gossip and I felt like I was constantly in a glass fish bowl sitting in class wondering if I was living a "good enough" life to avoid everyone talking about me.  I am a very self confident person and never lets anyones words or judging get to me as long as I am happy.  It got to the point where Brandon and I would refuse to go to church because I was no longer going for me, I was going so my name wouldnt be mentioned if I missed a few Sundays in a row.  Then after we had Kinsey I decided I really wanted her to be blessed so I started meeting with the bishop in the ward and he had asked if Brandon would come with me the next time.  So Brandon decided to go for Kinsey's sake and all it was, was a HUGE pressure put on Brandon's shoulder telling him he HAD to give Kinsey her blessing, and it wont mean the same or be "as good" if someone else gave it to her, blah blah blah... Well that automatically turned Brandon away even more because his whole life he was pressured by his parents to go to church to the point where he never got the chance to choose to go on his own or enjoy any of it! So now he had to tell the bishop and his family he would not be doing the blessing.. It makes me wonder if he didnt have so much pressure from his family and the bishop to give the blessing, if he would have chose to do it on his own.. we will never know because the church is always putting that pressure on us to be more or someone we dont want to be.  Now that we are living in a house, our neighbors seemed so nice when we moved in and were so welcoming but now that they notice we have not gone to church or are not active members, its like we have the plague or something!  I HATE it so bad!!!! What happened to the moral of everyone is equal?!  I fear that Kinsey will be looked at different because she doesnt go to church or her parents arent active because I know that has happened to my youngest brother and it is just plain out ridiculous!  I have always wanted to stay close to family and be within driving distance to my mom's house so I could visit whenever, but I am sad to say, our next house will either be clear in Sugarhouse or out of state to try and get away from all these judging, gossiping people who believe they are perfect.  Who cares if so and so's marriage is having problems, let them deal with it on their own and lets not talk about it to the whole world, or who cares if so and so's daughter is pregnant and still in high school, or who cares if the people down the street are struggling financially and the wife has to find a job. These are all things that happen to GOOD people and dont need to be talked about to everyone!  I know not all religious people are this way because I have met so many that are so amazing and are truly great people.  They do not believe they are perfect and believe that we are all equal and good people.. So again I dont want to offend anyone by this post but its those few people out there that have ruined it and made it so going to church is NOT enjoyable.  I have even been told by a certain someone that I no longer talk to, that I would not be a sufficient mother to my children if I did not attend church!! Who on earth tells someone that?! I am sure I have just had my bad experiences with people that has left this bad taste in my mouth, and hope it will soon change!  Well thats all for the venting I have tonight.. I feel SO MUCH better and might even get some good rest tonight ;)

16 or 17 weeks preggo!

Well I had another dr visit today and we were so excited to find out gender this baby would be!  We even scheduled this one 5 weeks out to give that extra week so we could without a doubt find out.. The only unfortunate thing about that whole appointment today was the umbilical cord is RIGHT in between the legs and blocks the "area" from all angles! Talk about frustrating haha but on a positive note: at least "it" has a healthy umbilical cord!  Another interesting thing is the baby is now measuring bigger so I went today thinking I was 16 weeks 5 days but now the baby is saying 17 weeks 1 day.  So who knows how far along I truly am, but at least the baby is gaining weight and is doing well in there :)  See there is something positive in all this news lol Oh and the magical heartbeat was PERFECT!  I am so glad things are going so well so far with this pregnancy as well. 
Now for stuff about me!  I have been feeling so so very light headed a lot and even to the point where I had to slide myself down a wall and sit on the floor or even lay on my left side for a few minutes.  This freaks Kinsey out and she runs right over to me and starts kissing my head and squats down right next to me until I get up.  There have been a couple times when she would even go get me one of her blankets! She is THE BEST! I went a couple weeks ago to get my iron checked because I became anemic with Kinsey but I was at a 14!!  Thats better than most adults so that was not the problem, then they took my blood pressure and sure enough, it was extremely low.  And even today it was only 102/48.  I am not sure how to raise a blood pressure besides exercising and I feel like I do that ALL day long lol I also have a very hard time sleeping at night..  My hips are in horrible shape from my wonderful family genes and from cheer all those years so if I lay on one side for too long I can no longer feel my entire leg and sometimes it even effects my arm.  So I am repositioning about every 1 hour! (It sure is a good thing Brandon is such a heavy sleeper!!) I dont remember having this big of a problem with Kinsey but I sure hope I can start getting some good nights sleep.  My belly is def out there now and I feel huge! I can still fit into all my clothes so I know I havent gotten that big.. YET.. but I sure do feel like it! I have only gained 2 lbs since I found out and the sad thing is I am at the weight I weighed before I got pregnant with Kinsey.  I guess you can said I gained my freshman 15! (really I only gained like 10 lbs but still thats a lot!!)  After this baby is born it's boot camp time for me! Other than that everything is great for me.. No more food aversions or nauseous feelings and I am lovin it!



What baby looks like at 17 weeks. I will start posting belly pic next time :)



Father's Day 2011

We had a great Father's Day! It was full of family and just relaxin'.  Kinsey got her dad a weed trimmer and we desperately needed it! I hate having a fresh mowed lawn but then the edges aren't clean.  So now he will have fun making our yard look even better :).  My mom did a lunch over at her house so we went over there to eat and see some family we dont get to see very often.  There were so many kids there! I cant believe how big our family has gotten in just the past decade... After lunch we went to my dad's house to visit with him. 
For the rest of the day, Brandon just wanted to rest and play with Kinsey so thats what we did.  We got home and took a family nap (i LOVE those lol) then cooked dinner and played outside.  It was freezing so we had to put on our sweats but we decorated the sidewalks with chalk and lit sparklers and even played with bubbles! It was a fantastic day :)

Fun in the Sun

I love my brothers so so much and am glad one of them will still agree to come hang out with me lol  My youngest brother Mason is 11 and he is always willing to go to lunch with me and just hang out!  He even stays the night at my house once in awhile and i LOVE it!  Kinsey and I went out to lunch with him last week and also decided to go to the pool since the weather was nice. 
We went to the Mexican restaurant by the north Ogden freeway entrance called "Bellas".  Kinsey and I have eaten there a couple times just the two of us so we decided to share the delicious food with Mason :) After lunch we went to my mom's to get ready to go swimming! I lathered up Kinsey and Mason in sunscreen (I dont think I have ever seen Mason sun burnt, he is way lucky to have the nice dark skin) then we were headed out the door!  The water was a little chilly but we still jumped right in and had a blast!  Mason even saw some of his buddies so he would go swim with them for a little bit then come sit next to Kinsey and I in the kiddie pool.  He is such an awesome brother and uncle! Kinsey just loves him to pieces and is always giving him hugs and kisses :)

I love her legs in this swimming suit lol

We love play dates!

Let me just start this post by saying I love being a stay at home mom and spending every minute playing with Kinsey! But... It is always nice to have play dates so Kinsey can have some interaction with other kids :)  We got to watch our cousin Kameryn a couple weeks ago and man oh man did those girls have fun!  The toy room was done just in time and they played, jumped on the tramp,played in the ball pit, and danced to music for HOURS! Kam was even sweet enough to show Kinsey some dance moves.  Later in the day we took the girls to the park to feed the ducks and get some energy out!  Kameryn is 5 so there is about a 3 1/2 year age difference between them but they play so well together and I LOVE it.  I hope Kinsey gets along with her siblings half as well as her and Kam do haha After we ran out of bread and the ducks started to get too close for comfort, we headed over to the park to swing and go down some slides.  We all had such a fun day and cant wait to get another day with Kameryn!

she was calling the ducks like she does to Leo lol

Princess Party!

Kinsey went to her first princess party this weekend and had a blast!! Our cousin Kameryn turned 5 and what 5 year old little girl wouldnt love to dress up as a princess?! They did a beauty shop where you could have your hair and make-up done and just lots of fun GIRL stuff.  I was able to give Kinsey's hair a little curl (read my prev post to see how that went lol) and dressed her up in a skirt and pretty shinny black shoes :) I am so glad I had a girl first so I could pamper her and dress her up girly!

Kinsey and the birthday Princess :)

All the Princesses!

life with a toddler!

So today has been one of those days when I have realized what I have gotten myself into having children.. Toddlers really have no "down time"! They are go, go, go from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed! Or at least thats the way Kinsey is lol 

We had fun today getting all dressed up to go to our cousins 5th birthday party and the theme was "princess".  This is where all the fun began lol I sat Kinsey in the sink so I could attempt to curl her hair HA! I was able to get it done but it took me about 3x as long as it should have!  She was reaching for her toothbrush to brush her teeth, then that wasnt enough and she had to put toothpaste on it, then she was reaching for my necklaces to put them on, then it was the soap (she actually put this in her mouth and put it down really fast once she tasted it!) then she decided it would be fun to turn the water on.  Thank goodness she wasnt dressed yet because she was still sitting in the sink so she was soaking wet! At that point I decided her hair looked just fine with what I had done lol. 

I will blog about the party later so I will just say we had so much fun and all the girls were too dang cute!!

After the party we stopped by my mom's to show off Kinsey's outfit and we had more adventures... she was running faster then her legs could carry her and fell and tore her tights and scrapped her knee, AGAIN! So out came the First Aid kit and we bandaged her all up :)

By the time we got home I was exhausted!!!!!  But of course, Kinsey was full of energy! (Sometimes I just dont understand how such a little body can be so hyper) Thankfully she is such a sweet little girl and does so well playing with Leo and just exploring by herself.. and I was able to sit on the couch and just relax for a sec..Well thats when more fun comes in haha! Her toy room is now complete (that blog post is soon to come too, geez I'm behind..) so she loves to go in there and play.  I let her play in there by herself because its kid friendly and safe but I still go in and check on her every few min or so and its a good thing I do!  I walked in there to find her standing on her table eating gold fish out of the big box she got out of the window seal.  She climbed onto her chair, then onto the table then reached pretty far to get them lol I couldnt help but to laugh but deep down I was also scared because if I would have waited too much longer she could have fallen off! After this point I figured she was hungry enough to get the gold fish so I better start cooking dinner... well thats easier said then done now a days!  Kinsey was running around, riding on her bike, and just being the silly girl she is.. I watched her run into her room and just assumed she was going to play with her toys or read some books for a min and be right back out to help me... well after a couple of min she didnt come out so I went to check on her and yep! more fun!!  She had found a pen and had colored all over herself!!!!!  I couldnt help but laugh again and wonder where in the world she found the pen!!!  Thank goodness she didnt color on the walls but I'm sure that time is going to come..

We had frozen pizza for dinner because my energy level was at a big fat 0! Usually she does pretty good feeding herself but not tonight! She ate 2 whole pieces and then decided not to use her napkin and wipe her pizza sauce hands all in her hair.. gotta love it!  So right after dinner it was bath time :)  After I got her out of the bath she was so fast I couldnt keep up and she was running all over the house naked lol I decided "what the heck" and just let her do her thing.. Finally I was able to get her lotioned up and a onsie put on her but that was a whole battle in itself haha Even when I told her it was time for bed she ran down the hall into her room and reached up for me to put her in her crib.  Then as soon as I laid her down, she was out! Can someone please explain to me how that works?! lol

I LOVE my crazy life and wouldnt change it for the world :)

the curled hair

the artwork

who knew your hair was the new napkin?!

Our toilet paper now sits on top of the toilet...

she LOVES to hide under her bed and scare me half to death when I cant find her!

But in the end.. How can you NOT love this cute messy face :)

Lesson Learned...

I have now had my braces on for about 5 months and it hasn't been too bad, I will admit.  I have been determined to get done as fast as possible and just "deal" with the pain.  It has been kinda easy, I have been able to jump to a new wire size get spacers and new wires when they only recommended one of the two, and then yesterday was the day I realized I bit off WAAAAY more then I can handle.  My overbite is pretty bad so when I had my consultation they suggested these things called "forsus". They are wire springs that are permanent in you mouth until you get your braces off and are supposed to move your bite faster.  I decided to be the brave girl and get new wires AND those nasty, mean, horrible forsus put in as well. I left the orthodontist's office wondering how in the world I was going to eat or talk or anything! My jaw could only move up and down and when i bit down, my molars didn't even touch! Brandon took Kinsey and I out to lunch and that was my first realization I didn't like the springs controlling my whole mouth! I decided to stick it out for at least one week like my ortho asked and just be brave. When we got home I started getting a HORRIBLE headache due to my TMJ and my jaw was not in the position it has liked to be for 21 years plus my teeth were killing me! They never hurt that bad when I first got braces on or even when I had the spacers put in.. I knew I was in for a long night! I skipped dinner and watched my family eat while I sat there with ice on my gums.  Now is where the fun part comes in.. Brandon had just gotten done mowing the lawn I was reading a book and right when he was about to get in the shower my whole jaw locked up and the wires got stuck to each other and I couldn't move my mouth at all!!! I broke out in full panic mode and freaked out, and to top it off, a wire was poking right into my gums and making them bleed!  Poor Brandon had to call my ortho's office to get his home number because it was 9pm at this time and try to explain to him what was going on. He rushed around the house grabbing Kinsey from bed and we jumped in the car and drove clear to North Ogden to get my mouth fixed! In the end I no longer have the "forsus" and I will NEVER do that again, this girl is sticking to the bands to fix her bite haha!! I am so glad I have such an amazing orthodontist that is available for me 24/7 :) My teeth are still a little sore and my gum is still VERY sore where the wire cut me but other then that, I can eat and I feel 100x better!!! I learned that I should prob not try to be braver than I am and just accept the fact that I will have these braces on for at most another year.. lol