giving up is NOT an option!!

Well I am need of a little venting so instead of dumping it all onto Brandon.. I will just blog about it!  I have been stressed to the MAX the past few weeks and it is seriously taking a toll on me.  I have permanent dark circles under my eyes, I my eczema is horrible, and headaches are an everyday thing.  Why am I so stressed? STUPID SCHOOL!!! I am so overwhelmed with school, and keeping up on the house, and just life.  I wonder if school is really that worth it, or if I am just putting myself through hell for nothing.  Any spare second I have, I am studying.  While the girls watch a movie, I study.  When Harper is napping and Kinsey is playing, I study.  When both girls nap, I study.  After the girls go to bed, I study then crawl into bed around 11pm and start my day again at 6am.  Being a Mommy is the best gift I have ever received and I wouldn't change any of it for the world.  School is just getting in the way lol BUT I have come to the conclusion that school IS worth it and I need to prove to my girls and myself that my education is one of my top priorities.  I met with an academic adviser so I could get some direction..and to see if nursing is really what I want to do. Lets just say I left that meeting feeling extremely stupid and like a failure.  I have to retake 3 of my classes because I got a C and I need at least a B to even be considered into the nursing program.. So I will be retaking classes and picking myself back up and dusting my butt off for the next year.. Then I can apply and hopefully become a nurse.  I have no idea why I let myself get a C in those classes.. I am NOT that kind of student.. I am so disappointed in myself but all I can do now is be better and study harder :)  I know nursing is what I want to do so I will not give up until I have that degree!  The way I look at it is.. when I get that nursing degree, I will be the best damn nurse because I have had to work so dang hard for it! And classes that most ppl only took once, I will be taking twice! That's twice the education hahaha  So what if Kinsey is in elementary school  by the time I have my BSN.. at least I will finish.  I used to think that school was a rush and I needed to finish ASAP because I am getting older.. newsflash.. I'm only 22!! Another thing that was making me feel rushed was people constantly asking when I will be done with school, then I realized today that the ppl that bug me the most and drill me about finishing are those that haven't stepped one foot onto a college campus.  So who are they to judge me!?  The only people I try to impress is myself, Brandon, my girlies, mom, and grandma.  Those are the ppl that support me no matter what and will be there to watch me when I do finish school and cheer me on no matter if its 3, 5, or even 6 years from now! (shoot me if it really does take me 5-6 years haha) I will finish, but at my own pace! It is much harder being a wife, mommy and student and I cant compare myself to those that dont have kids while going to school.  I chose this life and I wouldnt trade it for the world! Summer semester was my first time being full-time since before I had Kinsey... and it is taking a serious adjustment.  Next semester is only going to be busier as I finish my credits for my associates and retaking some of those necessarily classes.  Wish me luck, and I sure hope I make it out alive ;)